Coffee Shop Pervs

On Monday afternoon I walked into my favorite coffee shop, the one right across the street from work, to order an ice tea.

Mr. Cafe Musician (the one who sits at the counter every day recording music and waiting for his big break) walked up to me, put his arm around my shoulder and said, "You got me sick."

"What?!" I asked.

"You got me sick when we were making out," Mr. Cafe Musician says.

"What the hell are you talking about. We've never made out and we're never going to make out," I saw.

"Well ..." he stammers. "Maybe in my dreams."

Then Mr. Cafe Musician tries to kiss my cheek --

"No way," I say.

Where do they come up with this crap?!!?