Sunday, November 23, 2008

fear

I'm currently reading Yann Martel's book Life of Pi. There's a few lines I'd like to share with you from Chapter 56:

"I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life."

I love those lines. Especially here in Honduras, where fear is a part of every-day life. I don't talk on my cellphone when I'm outside for fear of being robbed. I don't take many pictures for fear of being robbed. Two weeks ago I was woken up at 3 am by the sound of four gun shots, and last Sunday a woman at work found her dad murdered.

Fear is crippling. I see it in my own life, and I've seen it especially in the lives of the Hondurans I've met. But as I've made it farther along in Life of Pi and as I've thought more about fear I've realized something important: I'm not doing anything about it.

I've been in Honduras three months and all I've done is bitch and moan about how dangerous it is here. I've adapted: I don't go out much, I don't take pictures, I don't talk to strangers. No wonder I'm having a hard time here! I don't do anything positive. I'm not involved anywhere. I see a broken system, but I'm not making any effort to fix it.

So what's the next step? I need to find a place to volunteer. Here are some of my options:

1. Left Eye (former member of TLC, now deceased) has a children's shelter about 20 minutes from La Ceiba that I might check out. They help orphans and former street kids.

2. Rumor has it that there's a women's rehabilitation center downtown. It helps former prostitutes and sex workers get their life back together.

3. There is a school and orphanage in the Jungle (about 20 min. away) that asks for child sponsorship donations online. Maybe they are in need of time donations too.

Finding a place to volunteer is surprisingly difficult here. And I imagine that actually following through and volunteering is even more challenging, especially considering that I still speak crappy Spanish. But this post is to let you know what I'm thinking and to help keep myself accountable so I wont let fear rob me of great experiences the rest of my time here. Also, if anyone has any suggestions about places or ways to get involved in La Ceiba, PLEASE let me know!!!!!

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi Emily, I am happy you are taking hot showers. That's wonderful. As far as fear, it's a killer. It's good you are being wise, but remember that God is our refuge. He can and does protect us...daily! Check out La Gringa's Blogicito - google it. She lives in La Ceiba. Her blog and forum have many helps for Americans. Maybe even a place for you to volunteer can be found there.

Anthony said...

oh left eye! you should definitely check that place out for TLC's sake.

kris said...

You sound more like the Emily I
remember. Good for you! I'll be praying that
God will direct you to the best place. Also, I was thinking, and praying the Lord's prayer: Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as in heaven. CS Lewis said that some of the people who left their mark in history were living for heaven, and as a result, left an impression of it here on earth. (Ex. William Wilberforce, MLK)Of course he used a lot better words. Also, I'll try and get in touch with Ann Carolyn Davie, maybe she has some contacts/ideas. I love you, mom. ps Please be careful and wise!!!

Emily said...

Left Eye's place. no questions asked. absolutely. To say that you were involved with Lisa, Left Eye, Lopez would be a dream. ohhhh myyyy.

love you. hugs and kisses.

Unknown said...

I know this is kind of late but..


there's a school for children with learning disabilities here in la Ceiba as well...it's called Emilia D'Cuire. You can volunteer to teach whenever, even f it's only for a few hours. The children are wonderful and they get really excited whenever new people volunteer...especially if it's for game time heehee....so that's an option =)

xoxo
a fellow blogger from La Ceiba